"Mysteries of the Shrew Universe"

So, you really want to know Secrets untold, The mysterious truth about our earth, Answers to all those questions that just have to be answered (and those that do not). You desire to learn about the ancient 'Shrew People' who roamed the land even before dinosaurs, The great Shrew Empire that ruled the ancient world. You also desire enlightenment from The Clangers, those pink shrew nosed creatures that live on a special planet not far from earth.

Then read on! Be thrilled, be chilled, be filled with awe and become fluffy!


Meet Your Ancestors - The Shrew...

For many years now it has been understood, by most people interested in the evolution of life on earth, that the human being has evolved from a 'shrewlike' creature which was one of the early mammals after the dinosaurs existed. Being a scatter-brained blonde, who happens to think that shrews are cute and fluffy, I decided that there was far more to this theory than first meets the eye so I devoted my entire life (well, some of it) to researching the 'shrew people' who roamed the earth many millions of years ago and who are still within us even today!

Please read on if you feel you can cope with knowing the truth about our Earth and if you like shrews and think they are cute and fluffy too.

Now we all know that there are cute little creatures living called shrews. There are several species of these living on our Earth today and in England where I live can be found the species called the Common Shrew which really are tiny. In fact, in England they are so popular that a major city, Shrewsbury, is named after them. They are very small and covered in fur with cute long noses that sniff and twitch as they forage for food in the undergrowth of woodlands where they live. Here is a picture of one --- isn't it cute! Eeek, Eeek, Eeeek, Eeek.... Eeeeeeeeeeek! EeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeK!!

Ahem... please excuse me, I don't know what came over me then.

Evidence found in Human behaviour

There is plenty of other evidence around that we can look at to prove that humankind evolved from shrews. For example, we can look at social behavior in people today.
A few years ago I discovered a reaction that I get from some people when I made a gesture at them. For some reason (I was not sure why I did this at the time but all will be explained in a moment), I pretended myself to be a shrew, and, after gaining the attention of a friend, I placed my hand in front of my face and waved a finger at them in the manner of a shrew twitching its cute little nose. To my surprise my friend responded back to me in the same way. This proved to me most firmly that many humans still retain a built in 'shrew culture' which goes right back to early times when we evolved from early shrews.
For your own interest I have done a sketch to show you what to do if you want to try this experiment and prove it for yourself. It seems to work better with people you know well as a mutual greeting sign that you are a shrew person and all is well.
People who also are very fond of cute fluffy creatures such as shrews, will respond quickly to this friendly gesture. Those who are not quite as 'in touch' with their inner shrew self and the ancient shrew culture will respond more slowly with a slightly confused expression. Some may receive slight flash-backs and will clutch at some nearby object such as a carrot or pen, even a flute, to perform this gesture. Examples of this are shown here.

Some may respond by using other parts of their anatomy such as the person in this picture using the whole arm, believed to have possibly evolved from an early mammoth/elephant type culture where the arm was used as a common greeting in the same manner as a trunk. This is further evidence that shrew people also evolved alongside the other early mammals.
Anybody reacting in a violent or derogatory way to the friendly shrew greeting may not have evolved from shrews at all and should therefore be treated with caution. In fact, they might have evolved from the ape species.

It may be that reading all this information has really caused you to think very hard about life and might be too much for your brain to take in all in one go. In order to allow for this I have added a short song on a shrew theme. The words are very simple and repeat a lot so don't be shy, sing along...

I'm a shrew
I'm a shrew
I'm a shrew, I'm a shrew, I'm a shrew
You can be a shrew too --- m, mmmmmmmmmm
IIIIIIIfffffff you really want to be --- you can be a shrew

If you sing this little song several times a day, or even several hundred, you will find it becomes very much easier to understand what it was like being a shrew person because it will put you in touch with your inner shrew self --- that's if you really are evolved from a shrew.

For those reading who prefer to use the mammoth/elephant (trunky) greeting you might find the words of the next song rather more appealing.

So here we goooo...

Trunky wants a bun! Trunky wants a bun!
Trrrrrunky wants a bun... Does trunky want a bun?

Trunky wants a scone with clotted cream! Trunky wants a scone with clotted cream!
Does trunky want a scone with clotted cream? Yes, Trunky wants scones and clotted cream.

Trunky wants a Cornish pasty! Trunky wants a Cornish pasty!
Does trunky want a Cornish pasty? Does trunky want a Cornish pasty?

Trunky wants a Devon pasty! Trunky wants a Devon pasty!
Does trunky want a funky Devon pasty? Does trunky want a Devon pasty?


(Can be sung to "Rap" beat although Heavy Metal works just as well)

Anyway... Now back to some Scientific Investigation

We are now ready to do some more very serious research about the shrew and look at the harder evidence, which proves unequivicably that some of the human species evolved from shrews and not all from the ape.
In this experiment the subject material was coated with atoms of pure gold in a vacuum sealed chamber of argon gas before being placed into the viewing chamber of the microscope.

But first I need to know what happens when I press this red button...

(No shrews were harmed during the carrying out of this experiment)

Eeek! Eeek! Eeeeek!

To keep fit and healthy do the above exercise with friends

Eeek! Eeek! Eeeeek!

A little mouse but she counts as a shrew

When Shrews Ruled Atlantis?

Many of us have heard of the famous myth of Atlantis and the civilisation that ruled there. It is said that there was a great earthquake and the sea swallowed up the location, never to be seen again. Even today archaeologists and scientists have all come up with many interesting theories as to what exactly happened and where Atlantis actually is.
Very recent ocean surveys of the Mediterranean have located what is thought to have been a lost City of Shrews just off the coast of the Greek Island of Corfu of all places (that's the place to be this year for your holiday folks !). It is still early days but archaeologists, scientists and diving teams are already trying to work out what relics can be brought to the surface from the city and what structures still remain which can tell us about life there in ancient times.
One of the most impressive structures remaining mostly intact under the sea is a huge monument depicting a shrew holding what looks like an icecream cornetto with a chocolate flake sticking out of it? This is startling because it means the idea for the Statue of Liberty at the entrance to New York harbour was already taken by shrew folk thousands of years before the New World was ever explored by Europeans! (well how about that then!)
Imagine being a mariner at that time sailing into the harbour of the great Shrew City, overshadowed by this huge monument. I have drawn an artistic impression of what it might have looked like here.

In celebration of all that we have been learning today I thought you might like to have a special treat and join in with my Fluffy Shrew song...

"Fluffy little shrew"
"Fluffy little SHREW"
"Fluffy little Shroooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohohohohooh"
"Flllllluuuuuuurrrrrrrrfffffffyyyyy little Shrew"

There, does that feel better? It also helps if you sway a little while singing it and take a deep breath between verse 100 and 101.

Breaking News on Shrews In Ancient Egypt

The Ancient Egyptians and their culture were much more widespread than was at first thought due to great prosperity and early stepped pyramids and mummies (with Egyptian mummification techniques) have been found as far west as the Canary Islands. Shrew mummies have come to light in small numbers although the tombs are so tiny they are often missed and only the larger human tombs are found! Imagine trying to find the tomb of a Sacred Shrew ruler of Egypt within the structure of the Great Pyramid? No wonder people have been puzzling over those tiny air shafts that align with the stars.
A recent amazing discovery of part of a statue found in the "Valley of the Shrews" (What do you mean you have never heard of this place?!) has pointed very strongly to Egypt's past having been ruled by a shrew Pharoah. This beautiful image of a Shrew Ruler was found among the rubble which infilled the entrance of a tomb.

More theories suggest that the Sphinx actually had a shrew nose but it got eroded away over the centuries or was deliberately broken off by hostile ape-like invaders who wanted to blot out the shrew culture. This would also explain of course why so many statues and images have been de-faced.

Shrews from Outer Space...

While in Egypt on their World Tour our Clanger friends (not so distant relatives of the shrew) from another planet visited the Cairo Museum to see the treasures of King Tut for themselves. They were very thrilled. In fact Tiny Clanger was so thrilled she decided to climb all over Tut to check him out! Mother Clanger had to call her to come down before security were alerted!

  If you have been totally thrilled, then click this link for adventures with "The Clangers"